Recently, I’ve been taking the bus to work on a regular basis. Mostly to avoid having to drive and to save a couple of dollars on gas. As most of us already know, driving in LA and sitting in its traffic is like driving a white-hot steel spike through your brain. Taking the bus is not much better though, except for the fact that someone else is driving. I usually use this time to read, listen to music, or simply to take a nap to quell the antsy feeling I get whenever my motionless body is draped on a chair for prolonged periods of time .
Riding on the bus, I get to see a large multitude of people, from all walks of life, and in their midst, their individual quirks are magnified and broadcast for watchers, such as myself, to dissect.
It has become a habit of mine to look and palpate any particular bus seat prior to planting my ass upon it. I’ve never had the misfortune of sitting in urine, but it’s something I’m not looking forward to experiencing. I always try to take the window seat because if I’m going to subject myself to a two-hour ride, I at least would like to be able to see what is happening in the world outside and what I’m missing, like the masochist that I am.
Although taking the window seat may seem like a perk not to be missed, it does come with its caveat. For one thing, it makes it awkward to get out of your row once your stop comes up, especially if the person next to you is in the depths of a bus-induced coma, which more often than not is indubitably the case. Once you are able to pry them away from Morpheus’ warm embrace, you inadvertently give them a free whiff of your sweaty ass, compounded and amplified by the legions of sweaty asses that have sat there before, as you waive it past their face departing from your vacated seat.
Aside from feeling like an eight-year-old being driven around by a less than apt, overly-aggressive-driver in a vehicle designed strictly to transport bodies from point A to point B with no consideration for taste or comfort, it does make me feel somewhat good to take the “green” alternative to driving.